{"id":238,"date":"2011-07-05T15:27:37","date_gmt":"2011-07-05T20:27:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/?p=238"},"modified":"2015-10-09T13:15:06","modified_gmt":"2015-10-09T17:15:06","slug":"pruning-grapes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/?p=238","title":{"rendered":"Pruning grapes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"grapes<\/p>\n

If you are looking for good advice from me about pruning grapes, forget about it. I don’t know what I’m doing. When we originally planted our Swenson’s Red grapes, we provided a fairly normal kind of wood and wire trellis, which served its purpose for a while. However, there were a few chaotic years which included graduate school and heavy equipment to install a modern septic system. A large pile of very large stones, salvaged from the foundation of what was once a barn, ended up next to Swenson’s Red.<\/p>\n

With the combination of my neglect and its exuberance for the extra heat held by the rocks, it covered the rock pile; and it started bearing quantities of grapes that would actually get ripe, and are nice to eat.<\/p>\n

\"Grape<\/p>\n

So, I hack away at it a few times a year as time allows to try to keep it in bounds, and to get more sun on the fruits as they ripen. Recently I was clipping away at the new growth, lost in my recurring grape pruning fantasy.<\/p>\n

\"Kemosabe<\/p>\n
Kemosabe in the Siberian ginseng<\/h6>\n<\/div>\n

My recurring fantasy is this: I am wantonly snipping away at the vines, when suddenly a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Gerard Depardieu yells “MERDE!!! Stoopeed woman! Zat ees no way to treat a grape!!” and he whisks me off to the south of France to show me how it should be done…<\/p>\n

Lost in this revery, I was working my way around the grape behemoth. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I noticed Kemosabe, one of our loyal and trusty cats, who likes to spy on me from the shrubbery. Black and white fur, right?<\/p>\n

\"Kemosabe<\/p>\n
Kemosabe in the grapes???<\/h6>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\"NOT<\/p>\n
NOT Kemosabe in grapes. Time to go, folks!!!<\/h6>\n<\/div>\n
\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you are looking for good advice from me about pruning grapes, forget about it. I don’t know what I’m doing. When we originally planted our Swenson’s Red grapes, we provided a fairly normal kind of wood and wire trellis, which served its purpose for a while. However, there were a few chaotic years which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5,6,13],"tags":[23,35,36,41],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=238"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":397,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions\/397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theextremegardener.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}